A restaurateur/chef in Glasgow (that’s in Scotland) has attracted lots of attention by posting a Chef Job Ad that holds absolutely nothing back. He held so little back that the site hosting the Chef Job Ad [note link goes to our job board, we have to get a plug in for ourselves somewhere along the way too – the link to the actual chef job advert in context is provided toward the bottom of the article] has forced him to censor the ad.
Even censored though, the ad is eye wateringly honest. Speaking of honesty, go here if you’d like to know how do chef recruitment agencies work?
No chef turning up for an interview at this place could ever say he hadn’t be warned, and well warned, in advance about the, ahem, job challenges which lay ahead. Keep reading Chefs because the juicy details are coming. Anyway the job ad was for a Sous Chef and no amount of meta commentary by me can ever do justice to the advert itself, which we’ll be getting to very soon, that’s a promise.
We should spare some of our pity for the restaurateur because he seems to have a problem not shared by all his peers in the industry, and sometimes not even by specialist chefs recruiters, i.e. too many applications. However the problem is too many applications of too little use to him.
Okay, the preamble is over, feast your eyes on the job ad copy and ask yourself this, would I apply for the following?
So He Get’s Brutal In This Chef Job Advert About Who He Doesn’t Want
First On The Hit List – The Tuna Sandwich Chef
If your idea of a good sandwich is a tuna mayo like your gran makes then please don’t bother responding. Seriously. Last time I was hiring for a place I got over 400 CVs. You know how long it takes to read 400 CVs? Too f*cking long. So don’t waste anyone’s time.
That out of the way it’s time to get honest, brutally honest, about the quality of the kitchen (and his wife):
I need a second in command to bang out a ton of semi-fancy food in a kitchen the size of a closet, and you also have to put up with my wife because I do, and she’s the real boss.
And by the sounds of things a very formidable woman she is too, so formidable the chefs need their own “bat cave”
On the plus side there’s a second, smaller kitchen downstairs so there’s somewhere to hide from us both and still be productive.
And So On To The Chef’s Pay
But at least the money’s decent, isn’t it? Apparently not, and the “truth telling” is searing in its honesty
The money is sh*t. It’s £7/hour and a cut of the tips. Don’t ask for more because I don’t have it. You’ll literally be making more than me because I am essentially working for free until the place is paid off.
He says the hours are good and, you know what, after what’s come before, I believe him
It’s not going to be open any later than 5pm for the first six months, so if you like your evenings you can have them.
A Chef Job With Benefits
And there’s more good stuff on the way
You can also have a decent degree of creative freedom, menu-wise. I will listen to your ideas and try your weird suggestions, but if I don’t love it we’re not doing it and that’s that.
There’s even perks
I’ll also let you order food for yourself at wholesale cost to compensate for the sh*te pay. That’s the best I can do.
More On The Brutal Chefs Pay
But just in case he hasn’t been clear enough about how awful the money is he pumps out another reminder
I’m dead serious about the money thing. Don’t come to an interview and then say it sounds great but you’ve got your kid’s school clothes to buy or whatever. I don’t care. There’s no money. There’s £7/hr and some tips, 25-35 hours a week. Deal with it. I’m working 60 hours for half that.
But it’s not all bad news, this is a job with upward potential
You can definitely get more hours once the place has legs, and eventually we’ll be open at night so there’s the possibility that you can be the solo guy (or gal) in charge of a lot of shifts if you’re decent. In fact, if you’re awesome and you have actual cooking skills, you’ll probably be my best friend and you’ll work 55 hours a week and I’ll let you put whatever horrible music you enjoy on the stereo and buy you beer.
No Racism Here – It’s All About The Chefs’ Whites (Laundry)
The next bit is dangerously worded but Chefs will know there’s no racist intent
Whites are not required. Just sensible shoes, a t-shirt or button-down (no taps aff cooking), and an apron. Pay is bi-weekly with tips doled out on the off weeks.
Not only is there no racism here there’s absolutely no discrimination of any description whatsoever, as you’re about to find out
I don’t care if you’re super outgoing or actually mute. I don’t care if you’ve got tattoos. I don’t care if you only work in kitchens to get away from your horrible significant other. I don’t care about anything other than that you’re fast enough not to be in the weeds constantly and you want to be part of something genuine and good.
Don’t Forget The Cover Letter
And when it comes to cover letters this guy has got you covered too
Send me a real cover letter too, if you’re the cover letter type. If you have one that says you’re a “hard-working team player that can also function well alone” and that you “value customer service and punctuality” I will stab myself in the face with a pencil and nobody will get a job.
I’ve no idea whether the job is filled yet but you can read it in context (for the time being anyway) over here on Gumtree (I kept my promise after all)*. He might not be offering the greatest chef job in the history of hospitality but he’s certainly written one of the best chef job ads I’ve ever seen and for that, even from a distance, it’s difficult to dislike the fellah.
If, by the time you get round to reading this article the Gumtree link is broken please blame Gumtree, not me and be thankful that I rescued the good bits before they yanked it offline.
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Photo by stavos